2} I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
3} Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I should know, but I can't place the hair or last name, what happened?
4} There is a great need for sarcasm font.
5} How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6} I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
7} The only time I look forward to a red light is when I want to text.
8} Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
9} I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
10} I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
11} I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
12} How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said or really care?
13} What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
14} MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood and honestly they just confuse me.
15} Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
16} I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
17} I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
18} Whenever I’m Facebook checking someone out and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Barbie Doll Dream House that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
19} Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
20} I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
21} I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
22} Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
23} It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
xoxo
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